Studies have shown that people who live longer have a different perception of age and aging. They do not approach age based on their birth certificate, but on how they truly feel. And how they feel is related not only to genetic factors (heritability), but mostly to social ones, meaning the way they have chosen to live and their perceptions of life.

Perceptions about age are also a social phenomenon. They reflect the views of a dominant social group (18-50) versus a minority (50+). As life expectancy increases and the majority of people are over 50 years old, meaning as the world’s population “ages” more while births decrease, these views are likely to be revised. Today, science does everything to ensure that a 50-year-old is still considered young, whereas in the past, they would already have been categorized as part of the “third age.”

But what truly makes a person seem aged?

Apart from the obvious visual signs (gray hair, deep wrinkles, muscle tissue relaxation), the most important signs of change occur on an emotional level.

Emotional signs of aging are:

• Difficulty adapting to new situations
• Rigidity of the mind
• Attachment to the past
• Denial of adapting to our times
• Reduced sociability
• Stagnation in learning

Social signs of aging include:

• Reduced participation in social activities.
• Retirement with withdrawal from social events.
• Preference for isolation or only spending time with very familiar people.
• More frequent references to the past rather than the future.
• Disconnection from the present time and developments in technology.
• Decreased enjoyment of activities that were previously enjoyable.

It’s worth noting that many of these characteristics can be felt by someone at a younger age (from 40 or even earlier). If this is happening to you, it’s important to seek help from a mental health professional.

Restrictive beliefs about age and aging:

People often, upon reaching a certain age, tend to adopt the dominant beliefs of the society they live in regarding what is expected at this stage of life, rather than considering what is actually happening in their personal stage of life.

For example, a 40-year-old woman is expected to be married with children, regardless of whether she is a nuclear physicist or scientist who has just graduated from university (even with a PhD)! Otherwise, she is considered “old” and “missed the family train…”

Similarly, a 45-year-old man is expected to have a family and children, otherwise he is labeled a “mature bachelor, lost to drinks and late nights…” and other such absurdities, reflecting the dominant views of society.

These views typically form what are known as “restrictive beliefs” about age. These are the internal beliefs that individuals have, which determine the opportunities they allow for new events to occur in their lives, regardless of their biological age.

Restrictive beliefs about age are the dominant beliefs and perceptions of society that become internalized and prevent us from thinking that things could be different, regardless of age.

The truth is that what is truly possible at each age stage is a personal matter and needs to be re-examined individually, based on the real biological, social, economic, and cultural life conditions of the person.

Neurosciences now inform us that the real possibilities at any age are often a matter of mindset. In the past, it was believed that neural connections are only made until the age of 10, and after that, any cells not activated die. Today, this view is no longer dominant. It is now believed that the brain’s plasticity is enormous, and a person can still activate cells and create new connections even at an older age. Perhaps with more effort — and not to the same degree as in younger years, but it’s possible.

It’s common for a physical limitation in older age to be generalized into an age limitation. For example, a 50-year-old person with knee osteoarthritis may feel that they are too old for exercise, when in reality, the condition only limits them in specific activities, like playing tennis or running.

Some examples of restrictive beliefs for people who already feel “old” include:

• Love is for the young.
• Exercise is not for our age; walking is the only thing.
• Travel is for the young.
• What I’ve done, I’ve done in my life.
• No time for new beginnings!
• After 40… 50… 60… everything changes…
• After 50, you’re forced to live on medication!

Empowering beliefs related to age:

In contrast, people who enjoy good health and a youthful spirit, even at older ages, tend to have positive, empowering beliefs about age, such as:

• Love is an emotion that older people experience more fully.
• I can enjoy my daily exercise and strengthen my body.
• It’s possible to enjoy life at every stage you are in.
• My limitations set the conditions for how I will move forward in life, but they don’t bind me to inaction.
• The quality of my life depends on my physical, mental, and emotional state at any given time, and that’s why I take care to keep them healthy and balanced.
• I recognize and respect my needs at each stage I am in.
• I am aware of who I am and constantly improve myself.

“Youthful” spirit vs. “acting young”

A key distinction between healthy aging (age management), i.e., behaving with health and vitality, and “trying to be young,” is that in the first case, I continue to grow, but with health, well-being, and maturity. In the second case, I simply imitate the youth and their behavior.

Feeling youthful is not the same as “playing young.” Youthfulness doesn’t mean wearing ripped jeans and a T-shirt and cruising down the coastal road with your motorbike to prove you’re young. Unless it comes naturally from your spirit, supported by your personality every day.

It’s good to behave in accordance with how we truly feel, not based on the subtraction of our birth date from the current date. However, there are cases of age confusion. Some examples of “age confusion” are:

• Overly youthful dressing that doesn’t align with one’s personality. If you’re wearing the same clothes as your grandchild, it might be time to rethink!
• Inappropriate dressing for your body type (e.g., mini skirt with sagging legs). Similarly, “elderly-style” dressing just because “that’s what people my age wear.”
• Excessive aesthetic procedures that create an unharmonious result with the person’s overall appearance.
• Repeated relationships with much younger people.
• Denial of biological age. When asked your age, you answer a decade younger or pretend you didn’t hear the question!
• Behavior with the “eternal teenager syndrome.” Refusing to mature and reevaluate our ideas and values for life is also a sign of attachment to the past, hence “aging.”

Care is also needed for societal standards. Internationally, people who want to reclaim their youth spend billions of dollars to conform to beauty and health standards. But instead of achieving the desired result, they fall into age-related prejudice and discrimination. Deep down, they believe they are indeed “old” and need to do all of this to appear younger.

Women 50+ who feel healthy can act accordingly in a healthy way. That means doing things that align with their personality and the way they have chosen to live…